Limiting beliefs about language learning

Similar to many aspects of life, unfortunately, language learning often involves encountering limiting thoughts and destructive beliefs that significantly hinder our progress. Self-sabotage, hindering oneself, is more common than we might think. Self-sabotage exists in most people’s lives to some extent, but it often operates unconsciously. It seems logical that what happens unconsciously within us, cannot be changed until we make it conscious. ☺

Limiting beliefs about language learning:

1 Perhaps one of the most common self-destructive beliefs in language learning is “this is not for me.”
Other variations include: “I have no talent for languages. I’ll never understand this. I didn’t get it even in elementary or high school. I’ve been studying English for years, but I just don’t seem to be making any progress. I can’t speak. I’m too old for this. I’ve always struggled with language learning. I was never good at it” and so on.

While healthy self-critique is essential in language learning, this negative attitude, self-deprecation, or labeling is never constructive. Sadly, it continually generates itself, depriving the learner of a sense of achievement. As long as someone thinks this way about themselves, how could they be a successful language learner? Almost everything in life is learnable, and most of the time, it’s about:

• Not learning with the right method,
• Not receiving adequate feedback,
• The need to reconsider and find their motivation.

It is also essential for everyone to be aware of their strengths and weaknesses. If something doesn’t succeed the first or second time, it should be seen not as a failure but as part of the learning process.

2 Another “beloved” limiting belief is “I don’t have time” and Co. “I rush all day, come home in the evening. You cannot possibly expect me to start learning so late? There’s no structure in my life. I have many other things to do. How do others find time for this? Surely, they don’t have as much to do as I do. If I had more time…” and so on.

It’s a fact that people are busier nowadays, the pace of life seems to be getting faster, and we have more to do. However, language learning doesn’t happen without investing time. Unfortunately, it’s not like roasting a chicken; you can’t put it in the oven, relax for an hour, look at it later, and voilà, it’s done. The good news is that you don’t have to spend hours actively learning every day, as it is most often not feasible with work and other commitments. Proper time management and setting smaller, achievable goals, such as reading one page every morning, spending 20 minutes each night learning new expressions, or watching a part of your favorite series, work wonders and make it easier to stay motivated. ☺

3 Sentences starting with “others succeed, but …” are also common: “Others succeed on the first try. Someone else surely understands it instantly. Others have more time. My neighbor’s son is only 12, but he already speaks English fluently. My friend passed the language exam in just 4 months, why didn’t I?” and so on.

Comparing ourselves to others can sometimes be motivating, but in today’s social media-dominated world, it more often inhibits our ability. This habit consumes a lot of valuable energy and time, mostly unnoticed. We could invest this valuable energy in ourselves and our own development. If we do this, we will find that we don’t have as much time to focus on others. Everyone has a different life path, learns differently, and works differently, so it’s unnecessary (and often harmful) to compare ourselves to anyone else. Unfortunately, society as a whole strengthens this trend of comparison and competition. However, if we focus on ourselves, our progress, goals, and achievements instead, we’ve already broken out of this cycle. (In my opinion) the most important thing: being better than ourselves. Because we will only be able to compete fairly with ourselves!

4 Sentences starting with “I’ve tried many times, but…” are also common: “I’ve tried so many times, but after a while, for some reason, I always gave up/got stuck/lost motivation during language learning.”

In some situations, it’s clearly not a good idea to stubbornly force things and stick to them. However, when it comes to language learning, it’s more about what I’ve already mentioned in the previous two points (inappropriate methodology, lack of achievement, and feedback). If a person does not receive feedback on something they continuously invest time and money in, paired with a low self-esteem, it’s likely that they will be convinced that they are unsuitable, and it will never work for them because it hasn’t so far. It may also happen that the person fundamentally lacks enough perseverance or willpower. Fortunately, these things can be learned and developed. The “how” has to do with precise goal setting and answering questions such as: What do I want to achieve with this language? Why do I need it? Do I want to and can I utilize the acquired knowledge? What level do I want to reach? Will I be able to invest the necessary time, money, and energy?

What can we do against our limiting thoughts and habits?

Recognizing and becoming aware of self-destructive thoughts is the first step, and it’s already half the battle! After that, you might need to dig deeper into your thoughts and habits, find the root causes, slowly adopt a new perspective and habits, and then integrate them into your daily life. Simple, right? 🙂 The most challenging part is shaping a new mindset and forming new habits, as our ingrained ones have formed over many years, and getting rid of them is no easy task. However, it might also help if we don’t give our brains so much time to think, avoid overthinking and decide to have a go at it. Having the right teacher can also help us overcome bad habits. Formulating our desires for ourselves and setting realistic goals might also help stay focused.